My last post was quite some time ago and when I wrote that I really felt like I cracked the code as far as positive thinking was concerned. I felt like my dream life was only a few thoughts away. But then life gets in the way. We all go through ups and down. One minute life is great, we feel good, we like we can conquer all. You get so used to that, that you forget about everything you’ve tried to put into practice…and BAM! you feel like you are back at square one.
I used to make time for gratitude, usually at night in bed as I waited to fall asleep or in the mornings while I drive to work. Life got so busy, at night as soon as I got into bed I was asleep. I slept soundly until my alarm went off the next morning. On my way to work, I had so many thoughts relating to the day ahead that I found no time for gratitude.
Slowly it started to show, work felt like it was getting out of control, my close relationships started to suffer, my money never seemed to last, I’ve been ill for almost 2 weeks (something that never happens to me) and there was never time for exercise, I felt horrible and bloated. A million miles away from my positive happy self that wrote the last blog post.
I had some great ideas for next blog posts…this time experimenting with exercise and healthy eating for busy moms, to show it is possible and you don’t have to spend hours in the gym…that last all but one day. I am still determined to get that going. I also had some great ideas for a book I want to write, but when the gratitude stopped, so did my ideas.
I’ve thought about it this week, shall I start my experiments again, no. I know what needs to be done, I need to make time again. So from this moment, until next week this time, I will make a conscience effort to say thanks and see if I can be in a better space next week this time.
Just another sign of how much I let my gratitude slip and the negative space I found myself in…I unexpectedly had to face someone I really cannot stand. I always thought she was evil personified, but after being forced into a confrontation with her, I realised she is so much more evil than I even thought possible. How do you deal with people like this and how did and why did this setting even come about? I was so disturbed by this person’s psyche that I struggled to sleep that night. When I hit my lowest of lows earlier this year, I was certain this person had cursed me. One wonders, why do people like these get placed in your life? To test us? To force us into a different direction? I am still trying to figure that one out.
Time to get back on track, one step at a time.